/ 9:08 pm / 31 January 2025 / I’ve had an earworm for days, Mariah does not let go and my brain is so tired / I got a job that I actually wanted for once. Like I can actually smile or feel proud when I say what I do? And it’s $30k more than I’m currently [under]paid? Like… what the actual fuck? Also out of at least seven applicants, they narrowed it down to three, and the other two were men, and they thought I was the best one? Hello? And when I interviewed I was genuine and told the truth, I mean yeah I was pretending somewhat obviously, but overall I was for real. But then all around me this country is fuckin cooked and everything is teetering on the precipice of being totally horrible and every day I legitimately wake up and wonder what fucked up thing are they going to do today And then I have to wonder if we’ve been spared something because our babies never lived? And then I remind myself that they were never even babies, they never had a chance. But I still think of them that way even though I know better. And then I get upset and then I talk myself down and repeat that pretty much daily because it never goes away But anyway I got that job so maybe we’ll still be able to eat when all the prices continue to go up and there’s nowhere to escape to in the world, not that we have the talent or means to do that anyway. We’re lucky to live where we do. We’re fortunate to have what we have. |
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